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10 most absurd Magic: The Gathering Unfinity cards

It’s time to get silly.
Image: Wizards of the Coast

The most absurd Magic: The Gathering Unfinity cards are, in our opinion, the ones that either rag on the game itself, ask for a little bit of meta-gaming or just make you feel silly.

Unfinity is the latest of MTG’s Un-sets, which pride themselves on the preposterous - and while this set does have some cards that are legal in Magic’s eternal formats, for better or for worse, it hasn’t toned down the nonsense.

MTG Unfinity cards

It’d be easy to pick the best MTG Unfinity cards based on their power level or their potential impact on the game in general, but it’s rare that the heretical can be the focus of a list like this, so we’re revelling in the silly instead. Some of these Unfinity cards are still powerful enough to win you the game, but you’ll have to do more than just cast them for that to be the case.

So step right up and join us for an intergalactic list of some of the most inventive Magic: The Gathering cards we’ve ever seen. It’s probably worth doing some stretches and preparing your finger dexterity and sense of balance while you’re at it because you’re going to need them.


1. Form of the Approach of the Second Sun

I am the game

For an Unfinity card with such a long name, Form of the Approach of the Second Sun is surprisingly simple in effect: you become your own deck, drawing cards off your head until you draw yourself and win. Image: Wizards of the Coast

Form of the Approach of the Second Sun asks an important question: “What if the player was the deck?” For five mana, this card gives you seven life when it enters, and then turns you into a card. You have to place six cards on top of your head, then try and balance them there until you draw yourself.

If you manage it, you’ll win the game. However, if even a single card falls off your head, you have to exile all of the cards and sacrifice this enchantment. It’s not the most powerful card in Unfinity, but we’re pretty sure it’s the funniest one.


2. Carnival Barker

Applaud, please!

Give Carnival Barker a hand and it'll give you one in return, by buffing your creatures' power and toughness. Image: Wizards of the Coast

Life can be hard sometimes, and it can get on top of you, but Carnival Barker can help fix that by getting other people to applaud for a creature you control - and you by extension. This three-mana Red 3/3 can grant a creature trample, haste and a power boost.

All you have to do is tap Carnival Barker and get as many people to applaud your creature as you can in a 30-second timeframe. For every person that claps, your creature gets +X/+0 - making it a potentially game-winning round of applause.


3. D00-DL, Caricaturist

Do you want a bigger nose?

Keep a pen and paper handy for this Unfinity card, which tasks you with doodling a token in order to give it keywords. Image: Wizards of the Coast

If you’re good at drawing, you’re definitely going to want a copy of D00-DL, Caricaturist in your Unfinity deck. This six-mana 1/1 allows you to create a 4/4 token when it enters the battlefield. The catch is that you have to draw the token, and you only have 15 seconds to do so.

From there, the card gets different abilities depending on what it looks like: “The token has flying if it has wings in its art. The same is true for first strike and a sword, vigilance and a shield, menace and mean eyes, trample and horns, deathtouch and claws, lifelink and fangs, and haste and footwear.”

We’re pretty sure you can manage each of these features, but we’re not sure we could.


4. Plate Spinning

Is glue cheating?

Put your real-life dexterity to the test by spinning a card to copy your spells. Image: Wizards of the Coast

Plate Spinning is a five-mana Blue enchantment that allows you to copy spells as you cast them, and even choose new targets when you do so. It’s an impressive power boost but, at only five mana, you’d best believe there’s a drawback.

The trick is that you need to balance a card from outside the game on one of your fingertips. The only issue is that you then have to sacrifice Plate Spinning if one of the balanced cards falls off of your fingertip or touches another card. It’s a tall task, but you do still get to keep the copies at least.


5. Killer Cosplay

A bear in sheep’s clothing

Killer Cosplay is another Unfinity card that lets you copy another card - this time, by attaching it to a creature. Image: Wizards of the Coast

Killer Cosplay is a one-mana Green equipment card that reads: “Whenever Killer Cosplay becomes attached to a creature, choose a creature card name with an identical mana cost. That creature becomes a copy of the card with the chosen name until Killer Cosplay becomes unattached from it.”

This allows you to turn a common card into a mythic rare, but you do need to know a fair bit about Magic: The Gathering to be able to pick the right creature for the situation. This is a great Unfinity card for players who really know about MTG’s extensive library of cards.


6. Photo Op

Do it for the ‘gram

Photo Op is an Unfinity card you'll need to prep before you play, by posting a picture of yourself posing as an MTG card and getting followers to comment. Image: Wizards of the Coast

Selfie lovers, good news, Photo Op is here for you. This one-mana Black sorcery needs a bit of setup, because you have to post a picture of yourself posing like the art of an MTG card with #GuessThatMagicCard on it and no other text.

When you play this spell, you can show a reply to your post and put the named card into your hand as long as you own it. There’s a lot of potential here if you can pose somewhat ambiguously, but it’s not going to be as useful if you don’t have some dedicated followers.


7. Clown Car

*internal screaming*

Lots of clown robot or one very powerful clown car? Either way, it's bad news for your opponent (and probably you). Image: Wizards of the Coast

Clown Car is a 1/1 vehicle that costs X mana to play. You can crew it with a power of two, but the main attraction here is its enter the battlefield effect, which has you rolling X six-sided dice.

For each odd result you get to create a 1/1 Clown Robot creature token, and for each even result you get to put a +1/+1 counter on Clown Car. This means you’ll either end up with a giant vehicle, a horde of clowns or a mix of both. If your opponent happens to have coulrophobia, this could mean you win on the spot.


8. Treacherous Trapezist

Words, words, words

Try not to get tongue-twisted! Treacherous Trapezist provides alliterative creatures with flying and spells with scry. Image: Wizards of the Coast

There’s simply no way we could make a list of the best Unfinity cards without including at least one word-based entry. Treacherous Trapezist is a three-mana Blue 2/3 creature with flying. That’s not all, though.

Not only does it give other alliterative creatures you control flying too, but whenever you cast any alliterative spell you get to scry 2 - looking at the top two cards of your deck before putting them on the top or bottom of your library. This could make for a lot of deck manipulation if you commit to the bit, but expect to get tongue-tied at some point.


9. Autograph Book

Oh my god, can you sign this?

Take a copy of Autgraph Book and pen wherever you go to guarantee card draw next time you play. Image: Wizards of the Coast

Autograph Book is the perfect card for players who know a lot of people with very tiny signatures. That’s because this two-mana artifact is begging people to sign it, giving the card a page counter on it for each person that’s done so.

You can then pay three mana and tap it to remove a page counter and draw a card. It pays to be popular in this case, especially if you happen to like drawing cards. If in doubt, ask people with very short last names.

10. Urza’s Fun House

Welcome to the house of fun

Urza's Fun House plays off the ever-popular Urza's cards to literally give you infinite mana. Image: Wizards of the Coast

Urza’s Mine, Urza’s Power-Plant and Urza’s Tower are a scourge on the face of Magic: The Gathering for a lot of players who don’t like facing off against seven mana on turn three. However, Urza’s Fun House is somehow even more absurd.

This land card allows you to tap it for one colourless mana. That’s fine, but you can also tap it for infinite mana once as long as you control Urza’s Mine, Urza’s Power-Plant and Urza’s Tower as well.

If you find yourself needing a mana sink, you can also spend seven mana and tap it to go to askurza.com and enter the fun house to use a random ability such as creating a token or drawing cards. It’s the perfect embodiment of the metagame, and we adore it.

About the Author
Jason Coles avatar

Jason Coles

Contributor

Jason spends a lot of time shuffling, sleeving up cards and playing decks that are bad. It's for this reason that he loves card games, even if they don't always love him. His poison of choice is Magic: The Gathering, but he'll play anything really, as it doesn't pay to be picky.

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